Please login to submit a screenshot

"In the Biz, you get to meet all the top people." So sings Chris Sievey, former member of the modestly successful band The Freshies and the alter ego of curious papermaché-headed pop figure Frank Sidebottom. What's all this got to do with the Spectrum, I hear you ask. Well, Mr Sievey wrote The Biz, a game which gives you the chance to start your own band from scratch, playing in pubs and town halls and guide it, hopefully, to the top of the proverbial pops, playing sold out arenas and filming expensive promotional videos. There are endless statistics for you to keep tabs on, including your bank balance, your chart position and your popularity rating. There were a number of games with a similar theme released for the Spectrum, but I think this is undoubtedly the best.

I BLAME this geezer Chris Sievey. He's the one who got us into The Biz. Who's he, anyway? Just some cat who cut a single back in '83 with some naff ZX-81 programs on the flip side. Now he's written a Basic simulation of the pop industry for Virgin.

The first person to get a number one hit single in The Biz gets to appear live on stage with Sievey. Despite that, me and the lads thought we'd give it a go and formed this band called the Y Fronts.

At first we played local scout groups and the Labour Clubs. We had a dodgy manager and an agent who fixed us gigs in places we'd never heard of. Our gear got lifted regularly and eventually our drummer joined a bunch of heavy metal headbangers.

We cut our own disc and pressed 10,000 copies. Our manager fixed an interview on Radio Forth, we ligged it around the campuses and the single shot to 142 in the charts. Then the record stiffed - we hadn't pressed enough copies - and our drummer left to play with some outfit which Sounds were hailing as the new Beatles.

We did some local promo, got a new manager, went to a hair salon and hit the London nightclubs. The band was really tight by now and the songs weren't so lousy. Stage presence was zilch, but then who's seen a C&W band with dry ice?

Then we got the break - the Factory gave us an advance and we made a new single. Capital put us on the C list and we were on standby for Top of the Pops. We made it to number; 42.

Then our drummer split, the gigs got cancelled, the record stiffed and the Factory told us where to go. We were back at square one, playing the Leeds Amnesia for peanuts. A groupie offered us some drugs, and we're not looking back now. We're not looking forward either. Tell you the truth, the colours make it difficult to look at anything at all ...


Publisher Virgin Price £6.95
Memory 48K
****

Bill Scolding

THE BIZ
Virgin Games £6.95
Roger: Well, like, er, man, this is one tremendously bankable game even if it lacks stage presence in visual terms. Virgin has turned back to what it, like any record industry outfit made big, does best - explaining how the completely talentless can become international megastars.
The Biz is a perfect teaching aid for bongo thumpers on the make. It leads aspirants through the rock rat race, underlining how it's much more important to know the wheeling and dealing techniques than learning a few wretched riffs to strum. Just like in real life, you can forget the E sharp and F flats because the only important notes have pictures of the Queen on 'em.
The cassette, besides carrying the necessary Spectrum-dedicated program, also has eight audio recordings including that well known smash hit "I'm in love with the girl on the Virgin Manchester Megastore checkout desk" ... No, well I've never heard of it either, but there again I've never heard of you ... If you get really good at the game, though, and become the first person to score a No.1 hit, I might just start throwing knickers at you from the audience, along with millions of other screaming fans, because you'll actually be invited to record with Chris Sievey and The Freshies and appear live on stage. A Doo Wop, a loo bop a wham bam boom? 3/5

Dave: I'm about as musical as a prune so I thought I'd be quite good at this. Four singles and a year later I'd managed to get to number 120! Mind you, I did make a lot of money from live performances - perhaps the punters thought I was a comedy act! Horribly addictive and great fun - see you on The Tube. 4/5

Ross: If music be the way to earn a fortune, you can count me in. This really is the biz. 4/5