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"Changing the rules of reality, one weapon at a time"

Armed and Dangerous is developer Planet Moon's second game, following Giants: Citizen Kabuto. The end product is a surprisingly frenetic, highly energetic game that doesn't miss a beat during its storyline or gameplay. The story is just absurd, with hit or miss humor, but well told either way. The gameplay is repetitive and fast-paced, but somehow manages to be very fun. A game like this probably comes from a developer with a good cult following instead of a developer with a popular, mainstream following, but judging from the games that follow this, and a newly announced one for the Wii, they might not even have a strong cult following. Planet Moon deserves a better following, because this game strays away from the monotony of the dull, low energy action games that litter today's market, and this may be Planet Moon's last funny game.

The Good:
+ Frenetically-told story, energetically-played shooting
+ The Land Shark Gun and the Topsy Turvy Bomb
+ When the jokes are funny, but even when they're not funny, they're still entertaining

The Bad:
- Offers no depth outside of an arcade-like shooter
- Some of the jokes really are quite bad
- Not enough funny weapons

The Satirical:
 “I didn't know they had kidneys.”

Story—8/10

The plot isn't really anything great, but the game's story isn't about the plot, but it's about how the story is told. The game centers around Roman, the British leader of a band of thieves; Jonesy, a very impatient Scottish mole who constantly complains when everyone else is stalling the story; Q, a giant robot whose cup of tea is never empty; and Rexus, a blind magician whose magic is often off the mark. Two villains, the King and his son, Prince Stig—a stupid ogre who believes that grinding his teeth to calcium dust counts as an experiment—play a large part in the story, but mostly provide some extra comic relief.

Roman is the leader of a group called the Lionhearts, and their mission is to steal a powerful book called the Book of Rule before the King is able to remove its curse, which masks the book's true identity as the Book of Basket Weaving. The King's minions have difficulties removing the curse, but they have made some wonderful baskets in the process. The game's cutscenes just roll along, hurtling all sorts of cliches and leaping over all amounts of logic to arrive at some of the most absurd places a game has ever gone. Logic, and physics at that, is defied all throughout the game, and perhaps that is the game's mission.

Gameplay—8/10

As soon as you start playing, you will realize this game has no ambition to be anything other than a simple, mindless shooter, and as long as you realize that, you'll probably have some fun with it. The game's primary weapon, a machine gun, is easily the most necessary weapon because it's the only one that can kill the large forces of enemies without really running out of ammo. Enemies drop ammo like crazy for this gun, and with its maximum load of 1,100 bullets, you have nothing to worry about. For the majority of the game you will be pulling the trigger of this gun, mowing down enemy forces, and reloading when needed. There are a few other guns, such as a rifle with infinite ammo, but it is too weak to serve a purpose. There is a sniper rifle that does have its uses at some points, but when it comes to the thick of combat, you won't be using it. There are two weapons that fire explosives—the mortar gun, which is basically a grenade launcher with a fancy design and name, and the game's other very useful weapon, the Vindaloo Rocket Launcher, which fires multiple homing missiles. The game's final weapon, useful at times, and also the most hilarious weapon, is the Land Shark Gun. It defies physics by firing a shark into the earth that swims around seeking enemies and then eating them. This is what video games should do. Why play a game that has realistic weapons when the reality of war is not so fun? Where the rules of physics can be bent and the rules of the imagination can reign, more weapons like the Land Shark Gun should exist. Come on developers, have a little fun won't you? Take an example from Planet Moon.

There are secondary weapons, the bombs, which, honestly, serve little purpose. The staple sticky bombs take too long to blow up, and only the black hole bomb and the Topsy Turvy serve much purpose, but your supply of those is quite limited. The Topsy Turvy bomb is notable, because it, too, defies physics, and in some ways, makes fun of it. It turns the world upside down and makes all enemies in the vicinity fall towards the sky, and then when the world turns right side up, the enemies fall back to the planet. I'm sure the sly developers realize that in the universal scheme of things, there is no such thing as right side up and upside down, because in space, it is all the same. Thus, turning the earth upside down is not possible, because gravity doesn't work like that, and that's what makes this so funny.

Planet Moon seems to use their simple, run-n-gun gameplay to satirize said mindless gameplay of other games, because the gameplay here is not necessarily mindless, it simply poses as mindless. For example, the line, quoted above, and spoken regularly by Roman as you shoot bad guys up, “I didn't know they had kidneys,” can easily be seen as satire of the gory bits of action games on the market today. Perhaps Roman is commenting on the fact that developers think they're teaching gamers an anatomy lesson when their games show bad guys guts blowing to bits and sent flying everywhere. It's a sly commentary on modern blood and guts games that leave nothing to the imagination. Another bit of satire has to do with the handling of rescuing peasants. Rescue missions are usually the bane of action games, mostly because you have to deal with poor AI. Maybe you remember some of those games where you're screaming at those characters you're rescuing to stop running in the middle of gun fights. In Armed and Dangerous, you don't have to worry about that. The peasants, who you rescue, become stiff and move as though they're tied to Roman, their limbs flailing helplessly about as he jumps and runs around the arena. These peasants don't do anything stupid because Roman has made sure they won't. So it seems to me at least.

There are other moments to enjoy, such as the missions with the jetpack, one of the most fun aspects of the game. Don't expect anything revolutionary or complex; just run, aim, and pull the trigger button.

Visuals/Sound—8/10

The visuals were rushed. Some of the environments look quite good, but close ups and poorly detailed locations were most definitely rushed. The cutscenes especially don't look particularly polished. Still, the visuals are good enough to play and enjoy the game, and that's all that really matters. Sometimes you might confuse your ally Jonesy with one of the enemies, but since there's no friendly fire, it doesn't matter anyway.

The sound stands out because the voice acting is so well done, and each voice lends character to the game's players. Sound literally litters the game, with one-liners during combat undercutting the gunfire, explosions, and screams, but it is well done, so you won't need to turn down the volume. In fact, you probably won't want to turn it down.

Longevity—8/10

The game clocks in at less than ten hours, but there are bonus missions, tokens to collect, and four difficulties to play on (unless you don't count Easy as a difficulty). One play through is enough, and the game ends before the fun wears off, or, before the repetition becomes overwhelming. It would have been nice if there were a little bit more guns that pushed the laws of physics and the bounds of the imagination. When I play this game, I realize that games are a creative license, and they should push for the creative over the realistic. It's fun to know that there are some developers out there who are changing the rules of reality with their wacky, absurd ideas.

Overall—8/10

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 08/31/07

Game Release: Armed and Dangerous (US, 12/02/03)