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"Short with many flaws, and only seems to be good for a short time."

I noticed that there were only two reviews for this game, so I've decided to add one more. This game ain't overly popular, so it doesn't really surprise me. Additionally, I will admit that it has a lot of little flaws. While little, there appear to be so many of them that they add up to one big problem. So I've decided to write a "detailed review" for the game to shed better insight onto the game. I will break this down into seven categories that appear in this order: Plot, Graphics, Sound and Music, Gameplay, Aftermath Fun, Control Ease, and Game Length. After that comes the total score (all the points given for each category added together), flaws (any problems you should be aware about), and the conclusion, which will include whether you should rent this or buy this.

PLOT: 7/10. The plot is nothing like the first Sarge's Heroes, which was much better developed and had plenty of witty and funny moments. This plot has been rather dumbed down to the point of boringness and unimportance. General Plastro--mysteriously still trapped in the "real world," which is our world, the army men live in their own world--has been "plastered," and thus remains perpetually still as a statue. If an army man stays in the real world too long, he becomes plastered. The problem with this is, a portal back to the plastic world was right in front of Plastro at the end of the first movie--why didn't he take it? Anyway, General Plastro is the leader of the ruthless Tan Nation (tan-colored army men), whose sole goal is to take over the plastic world. The Green Nation--the good guys, and the sergeant ("Sarge") is who you control--are off to blow up all the remaining portals to close all links to the real world. In the course of the game, however, a spy of the Blue Nation named Brigette Bleu (I think I spelled "Brigette" right, could be wrong....) uses a serum to return Plastro to normal. And so Sarge goes, rescues Vikki (who he obviously likes), blows up stuff, and leads an overall pretty cheesy story. The fact that Vikki is the colonel's daughter, gets into WAAAAY too much trouble than is normal, and that dialogue is kept short, simple, and corny. I think the plot could have been improved and the dialogue made a little bit longer and more realistic.

GRAPHICS: 5/10. Even for a Nintendo 64 game, the graphics here are pretty bad. Faces are completely stationary, and many peoples' faces appear stretched. Vikki has huge eyes, big lips, and it looks like her skin is too small for her body. Brigette Bleu looks like The Joker; if you look closely, you'll see a very pale face and bright red lips that look unnatural. Colors are bright and colorful, I'll give credit for that. However, it doesn't make up for the completely still, simplistic faces. Furthermore, the game lags even when nothing is happening to make it lag; fairly big explosions and too many enemies on the screen (which is a small amount, like four or five enemies) make the game lag about five times as much. Designs are simple and have little detail put into them. To top it all off, motions are always predetermined. For instance, when someone yells, they lean backwards and punch the air above them twice; if they have a gun in their hands, they'll twirl it around. They do this same motion over and over again. Even when a person is not holding a gun, when they walk, they hold their arms as if they ARE carrying a gun. Little concern has been placed on graphics, making everything appear bloated, exaggerated, and fake.

SOUND AND MUSIC: 7/10. 7 is my "blah" score, which means that it's not really anything special. The music here is nothing you'll whistle along with or bop your head to, but it's just there in the background for nobody to listen to. The sound itself is alright. Guns blasting off sound just as they should. Voices are seldom heard, but when they are, they're nothing special. Vikki sounds like some exaggerated woman who wants to seduce men. A flaw has actually been discovered where, if Vikki falls too far and hurts herself, she'll make the same manly grunt that Sarge does when he falls.

GAMEPLAY: 7/10. The events of the game take place in stages. These stages take about 5 minutes to complete, and there are 17 stages. In each stage, you will find various weapons with their own ammunition, like shotguns, sniper rifles, even bazookas and flamethrowers. (Every time you shoot the enemy, a small, plastic chunk chips off. Same thing happens when you get shot.) Finding more of these weapons gives you more ammo. The M-16, which you always start with, has unlimited ammo. You are given a set of objectives to complete, but you will usually find yourselves shooting Tan guy after Tan guy. If you get shot to death, fall to your death, blow yourself up, or melt (get nailed by a flamethrower), you die and must restart the stage. Objectives may include, "Take out enemy robot," or "Secure portal." Some objectives are actually more like parameters, like "Keep the commandos alive." You can actually start in any stage you want to by entering in codes in an option from the main menu. A code is shown after you beat a stage. If you're a person who really likes a good run-around-and-shoot-the-crap-out-of-your-enemy type game, you might enjoy this.

AFTERMATH FUN: 2/10. 2/10. I have rated NOTHING 2/10 up to now. The thing is, there's nothing to do after beating the game. You can go back and beat stages. That's it. Other than that, improve your skills and shoot everybody. Have fun with cheat codes. But there's not much to do after beating the game, which doesn't take long.

CONTROL EASE: 7/10. The actions each button does are determined fairly well. A shoots and B jumps. R takes you into a first-person manual aiming mode, and L turns your radar (which detects enemies) on and off. Hold Z to be able to strafe left and right. Use the control stick to move. Press Left C to switch weapons, Down C to get onto your knees, and press it repeatedly to switch to on your belly and on your knees (move the control stick to get back up). Press Right C to fall straight down to your belly. Press Up C to immediately turn around. So, fairly simple and straightforward. However, the buttons have a habit of reacting slower than when you pressed the button, and sometimes the B button doesn't respond at all, especially when running up slopes. It'll take you about half an hour to forty-five minutes to get used to the controls, and by the time you beat the game you should have mastered them. How long does it take to beat the game? Well....

GAME LENGTH: 5/10. I said each stage lasts roughly 5 minutes. There are 17 stages. So that's almost an hour and a half, if you start from the very beginning and play through all the stages. That is a very short game. If you hate short games, stay away from this one. There is, however, a multiplayer mode I'll (off the record) rate 7/10 that may keep you busy if you have friends.

TOTAL SCORE: 40/70. That's absolutely pitiful. Still, I want to be fair, so if you like games where you run around like a maniac and shoot like crazy, this might not be so bad.

FLAWS: The game is riddled with glitches, if you view that sort of thing as a flaw. I don't. Glitches (provided they aren't too unavoidable or severe) are very fun. Also, the short game length, pitiful graphics, and mediocre sound don't help. To pile more flaws on top, the cinematic, animated movies with complete voice acting and great sound that were featured in the original have been traded for graphics that are still pitiful, no voices or sound, and stupid dialogue. If you were expecting the old cinematic cutscenes and are disappointed, this might be another reason to shy away. The often unresponsive controls and perpetual lag time don't help, either.

CONCLUSION: If you can even find old Nintendo 64 games anywhere and happen to find this in a place you can rent the games, I suggest you rent 'em. Not only is this game very short, but it's one of those games that actually gets pretty boring pretty easily. You shoot an enemy. You grab a weapon. You shoot another enemy (the AI is pretty stupid, by the way, so they're bad aims and fire about once every ten seconds on normal mode, about once every 15 seconds on easy). So this thing can get pretty boring. Finding each new stage is exciting; after finding 'em all, the excitement is gone. So yeah, if you can rent this game and honestly want to play it, I suggest you rent. (Again, I don't rent games, because if a game is honestly that good, who wants to give it back?)

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 04/22/08

Game Release: Army Men: Sarge's Heroes 2 (US, 09/26/00)