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"Here comes the boom..."

It's too dark. Even with the moon out, the battlefield is pitch black. You don't need your eyes to fight, though; the tank's scanning equipment and display provides the outlines of every obstacle. Not like there's anything to see, anyway. Just a bunch of miniature pyramids and cubes randomly scattered around. The rest is a flat expanse of pure nothing. There's a mountain range in the distance, the sloping foothills hiding an active volcano. Reports suggests that it's erupting now, but you can't see it. The screen shows nothing but tiny flecks of green lines spurting out into the sky. A pity. It probably looks beautiful up close, with the fire and lava glowing against the darkness. You can't even hear the explosion from here. Or anything interesting, for that matter. The only noise is the low, scratchy hum from the scanners. It's nerve-wracking, and-

BEEP BEEP

Damn, that's loud. Data incoming: ENEMY IN RANGE. Crap. You put the tank into gear and peer into the display. It doesn't look like much from a distance. Just a poorly rendered jumble of green lines. It's not until you get a few hundred meters do you see what it really is: another tank. It's idling out in the open. Miraculously, it hasn't noticed you yet. Nor will it get the chance. You fire a shell and wipe your target off the face of the planet. Twisted, burning shrapnel goes flying, and scanners reduce the sounds of destruction into a tinny growl. That was an easy kill, all things considered. The projectiles are large and they move fairly slowly, which makes dodging them a breeze. Hit detection is pretty forgiving, too. But this guy never saw it coming. Must have been a rookie or something. You lean back in the chair, a smug, satisfied smile plastered across your face.

ENEMY IN RANGE. Another one? There, lurking just a little bit off to the left. It's hiding behind one of the pyramids, but your equipment lets you see through the objects. You quietly roll around the other side, flank him, and add a thousand more points to your high score. There's another one taking aim nearby, but you manage to snipe him before it can get the shot off. Green wire-framed vehicles left twisted and burning in the night. Not bad at all. Who are these guys, anyway? They've got you outnumbered and out-positioned, but they're dropping like flies. A defect in their design? Lighter, less durable armor? Maybe. Trading speed for strength. It won't work, though. Not against-

Something goes flying across the screen. A block-shaped missile. It barely misses the tank and zooms off into the blackness. Where the Hell did that come from? A hundred meters to the rear. You frantically throw the tank into reverse and send the vehicle rumbling to the right, staring at the tiny blip on the radar as it inches ever closer into visual range. Another projectile whizzes by, even closer than the last one. There's no way you're going to get a fix on it in time. That's why they built those things so lightly. Compared to them, your tank is just a giant, clunky heap of metal. The controls are pretty sluggish. Too slow. The sparse landscape doesn't help much, either; your sense of depth and distance are limited when there are so few objects to use for reference points.

That's it! You bring the tank to a halt, swivel around, and make a beeline for the nearest cube. Another projectile narrowly misses, exploding on the side of your cover and disintegrating into tiny green bits. The tank doesn't move as quickly as before; the plating is grinding hard against the cube, forcing you to turn in a new direction before getting anywhere else. Before you can get back in gear, a round finally connects. There's a sickening crunch, and a huge crack runs down the display screen. You can still see out of it. Your attacker is lumbering toward you, adjusting its aim for a finishing blow. Frantically, you get your targeting reticule online and fire. Missed! Adjust it ever so slightly and pull the trigger one more time, and your would-be murderer fries. Another thousand points and a shaky, satisfied laugh for you. Maybe you'll make it out of this alive.

…Wait. What's that sound? A high-pitched roar. Not a tank. Something bigger, stronger. But there's nothing showing up on the radar. Was it broken when you were hit? Maybe. But there's something out there. The display shows something hazy in the distance. It's not shaped like any of the enemy vehicles. It's round…and floating. A UFO?! As you're staring slack-jawed in wonder, the craft floats ever closer. You instinctively fire another round, almost regretting it. It doesn't matter. The missile goes wide, and the UFO vanishes from view. Is it gone? Can't tell. You ease back into your chair and sigh. No one's going to believe-

BUZZZ

What the Hell is that? You have just enough time to notice the alien's homing missile zoom straight into your sights. You fire again. And again. Missed. The last thing you see is the giant, green-wired weapon crash-headlong into you. You're spared the agony of roasting alive in the fiery wreck of your tank. The only thing you have to face is the inevitable: the Game Over screen.


Reviewer's Score: 7/10 | Originally Posted: 03/08/10

Game Release: Battlezone (US, 1983)