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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an evil ruler, Count Toten of Plaxo, decided that any visitors from another planet had to go through certain ordeals before being allowed to stay. These ordeals involved getting on a BMX bike, and belting around a number of tracks of increasing difficulty, and if the poor beeyemexer should fail, it was into the lions pit. Actually, this is a lie, but there isn't a scenario with this game, so I thought that as Your Sinclair readers deserve the best, I'd write one for you anyway.
Back to Professional BMX Simulator however, which is the latest from Codemasters Plus, designed by that little Darling, Richard, and coded by the Oliver Twins. As a Codemasters Plus game, it means it's bigger than yer average budget game, and three quid more expensive. So what do you get for that extra three quid? Basically the original BMX simulator, released aeons ago, with various additions.
For a start this time around you'll find fifteen tracks, five each of dirt biking, quarry racing and desert biking. The last track on each of the three sections is a professional course, where you can customise your bike by changing the tyres and the size of chainwheel. Coo! The bikes can also crash into each other on the professional course, which makes things even more difficult. And, for the first time ever on the Speccy, there's four player simultaneous action. Fab. Unfortunately, as my computer didn't have enough ports, and I didn't have enough joysticks, and I don't have any friends anyway (altogether now... aaaaah), you'll have to hear about the one player point of view.
The idea, of course, is to guide your bike around the track, avoiding the various obstacles and ditches, and using the burms (BMX talk for banks) to build up speed for the straights or steep hills. Forget about winning the race, you'll need loads of practice before you can do that.
The graphics are standard Code Masters simulation fare, primarily one colour, with black being used to create the impression of burms and other colours for the obstacles. Your bike is a tiny little sprite, about twelve pixels long, which does create problems when all four bikes (in one player mode the other three are computer controlled) are going around the same corner, and you lose sight of which one you're in control of. This is resolved when your bike is the one which crashes into a wall, and the other three go merrily on their way, lapping you before you've turned your bike to face the right direction.
Control is a big problem initially it took me half an hour to gain any type of control over my bike, but I persevered and found quite a playable little game underneath. The sound effects and various tunes are excellent, in the Ping Pong mould, and of the same high quality.
The thing which made the game for me was the sheer variety of tracks, only three of which I managed to complete. Each of the different types - dirt racing, quarry and desert biking - have varying qualities, and must be handled accordingly. I never reached 'expert' grade, so I can't tell you what difference being able to customise your bike will make.
I didn't get a chance to try the multi-player option either, but I can imagine that with enough ports, joysticks and friends, you could happily spend many a winter evening gathered around the Speccy with Professional BMX Simulator glowing warmly on your monitor. Ah yes, the pleasure of racing up hill and down dale, arguing, cheating, having fun and generally making enough noise to really annoy your parents.
All in all, an addictive little game from Code Masters, and although a little awkward to get used to, it's well worth a fiver of anyone's money.

Verdict: 8/10
Review by Sean Kelly